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Brian/Robin 3, IKEA 0
Third furniture-piece is together and awaiting filling.
So, jest before she left, Robin went to the store with the intention of getting things for a stirfry. We then proceeded to order pizza, so I was left with fresh produce. To avoid what happened last time, when the broccoli was declared a biohazard, I decided it had to go immediately. This is the recipe for that travesty.
Ingredients:
1 gifuckingnormous broccolie head and stalk
1/4 pretty big onion
2 yellow bell peppers
1 carrot
Enough chicken to probably balance those out
Teriyaki sauce
Enough rice for whoever's eating.
Start rice cooking. Cut all vegetables into tiny pieces. Realize pretty early on this is a whole lot of vegetables. Against your better judgement, do not put any away, and continue. Begin cutting chicken into equally tiny pieces. Answer door. Finish cutting chicken, start cooking it in the teriyaki sauce. Add vegetables before chicken is close to done, decide there's now probably far too much to know when the chicken is actually cooked. Realize rice is done long before anything else. Push around and stir anyway until what bits you can see look cooked; add more sauce. Decide broccoli is not done, turn down hat, cover pot and let steam a while; ignore rising feeling of dread. Wait long enough to let it be soft.
Put rice in a bowl, put some of the rest on top. Try to eat. Decide it needs more sauce, add teriyaki sauce. Realize sauce doesn't make it better, throw second half of that bowl out. Store rest of chicken and vegetables in mixing bowl in fridge.
click
So, jest before she left, Robin went to the store with the intention of getting things for a stirfry. We then proceeded to order pizza, so I was left with fresh produce. To avoid what happened last time, when the broccoli was declared a biohazard, I decided it had to go immediately. This is the recipe for that travesty.
Ingredients:
1 gifuckingnormous broccolie head and stalk
1/4 pretty big onion
2 yellow bell peppers
1 carrot
Enough chicken to probably balance those out
Teriyaki sauce
Enough rice for whoever's eating.
Start rice cooking. Cut all vegetables into tiny pieces. Realize pretty early on this is a whole lot of vegetables. Against your better judgement, do not put any away, and continue. Begin cutting chicken into equally tiny pieces. Answer door. Finish cutting chicken, start cooking it in the teriyaki sauce. Add vegetables before chicken is close to done, decide there's now probably far too much to know when the chicken is actually cooked. Realize rice is done long before anything else. Push around and stir anyway until what bits you can see look cooked; add more sauce. Decide broccoli is not done, turn down hat, cover pot and let steam a while; ignore rising feeling of dread. Wait long enough to let it be soft.
Put rice in a bowl, put some of the rest on top. Try to eat. Decide it needs more sauce, add teriyaki sauce. Realize sauce doesn't make it better, throw second half of that bowl out. Store rest of chicken and vegetables in mixing bowl in fridge.
click
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One way to avoid this problem is to cook the chicken separately, first, then add the vegetables and cook some more.
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