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Personal statment
Here's my first try on my personal statemtn for grad schools. It needs a lot of work; I have about a week in which to give it that work. At this point I don't think I'll be customizing it for 8 different schools; that's a bit crazy. How could this be better? Um, yeah.
Four years ago, as I was selecting an undergraduate institution, I had very little idea of what I wanted. To call my criteria for schools 'arbitrary' would have been generous; in fact, I may have done better with a dartboard. That spring, it crystallized for me exactly what I needed - far too late, of course; applications had been due months previously. Fortunately, I lucked out, and matriculated at Harvey Mudd with every intention of going on into Artificial Intelligence.
Of course, selecting the field and getting into it were two very different matters. Two years later, after finally completing Mudd's core curriculum, I had a summer research fellowship in Machine Learning. I had hardly been introduced to the field, yet there I was with only a computer and a vague description of the problems that I was supposed to be investigating. Weeks and months passed, and even though I wrote code that nominally did what it was meant to - unsupervised clustering of discrete-valued data - I had very little idea of the ultimate goal. Numbers went in and numbers came out, and other numbers would say how similar the sets were, but that was all that I ever saw in them: numbers. By the end of the summer I'd realized my mistake: I'd jumped straight into a highly theoretical research field with no foreknowledge of what it involved, and realized quickly that what it involved was not for me. Foolishly, I set aside the idea of research altogether, and spent the next year preparing myself for the day-to-day drudgery of the software industry.
A summer internship writing document management software (about as thrilling as it sounds) opened my eyes to how much of a mistake that was. I knew that I wanted to do something more than anonymous coding with my life, but there were no obvious options for what that could be. That was until the second project in Professor Sweedyk's Computer Graphics class, where I was assigned to build a ray tracer. Within the first week of the project, I was fascinated by just how high the quality of the images I produced could be, even with relatively straightforward code changes. Two weeks through the four-week assignment I had finished the base requirements, and rather than focus on other classes, I kept thinking and reading about further possible improvements I might make. How many geometric primitives could I include? Beyond primitives, how could I effectively use polygon meshes to make realistic models? What could I do to soften up those polygons' sharp corners? Beond simple texture mapping, how could I liven up large, flat surfaces? I had to set the project aside in favor of other classwork, but I found myself looking forward to breaks, when I would have nothing more pressing to do and I could go back to the ray tracer and simply see what more I could do.
Even after I had to leave the ray tracer behind, I still tended to be preoccupied with it. However, it was only when I found myself explaining ray tracing to a curious chemist at two in the morning that I noticed that I'd discovered a potential long-term academic interest. I realized, though, that much like four years previously I'd reached a critical decision too late to really act upon it. With only a single full semester remaining, I hardly had time to get any more of the undergrad research experience that is so often touted as a prerequisite for graduate work. Even my experience with other approaches to similar rendering is still limited at best, but I'm looking forward to any opportunity to explore others.
It feels like it just kinda dies at the end, and I'm not sure how to wrap it up. Anything?
click
Four years ago, as I was selecting an undergraduate institution, I had very little idea of what I wanted. To call my criteria for schools 'arbitrary' would have been generous; in fact, I may have done better with a dartboard. That spring, it crystallized for me exactly what I needed - far too late, of course; applications had been due months previously. Fortunately, I lucked out, and matriculated at Harvey Mudd with every intention of going on into Artificial Intelligence.
Of course, selecting the field and getting into it were two very different matters. Two years later, after finally completing Mudd's core curriculum, I had a summer research fellowship in Machine Learning. I had hardly been introduced to the field, yet there I was with only a computer and a vague description of the problems that I was supposed to be investigating. Weeks and months passed, and even though I wrote code that nominally did what it was meant to - unsupervised clustering of discrete-valued data - I had very little idea of the ultimate goal. Numbers went in and numbers came out, and other numbers would say how similar the sets were, but that was all that I ever saw in them: numbers. By the end of the summer I'd realized my mistake: I'd jumped straight into a highly theoretical research field with no foreknowledge of what it involved, and realized quickly that what it involved was not for me. Foolishly, I set aside the idea of research altogether, and spent the next year preparing myself for the day-to-day drudgery of the software industry.
A summer internship writing document management software (about as thrilling as it sounds) opened my eyes to how much of a mistake that was. I knew that I wanted to do something more than anonymous coding with my life, but there were no obvious options for what that could be. That was until the second project in Professor Sweedyk's Computer Graphics class, where I was assigned to build a ray tracer. Within the first week of the project, I was fascinated by just how high the quality of the images I produced could be, even with relatively straightforward code changes. Two weeks through the four-week assignment I had finished the base requirements, and rather than focus on other classes, I kept thinking and reading about further possible improvements I might make. How many geometric primitives could I include? Beyond primitives, how could I effectively use polygon meshes to make realistic models? What could I do to soften up those polygons' sharp corners? Beond simple texture mapping, how could I liven up large, flat surfaces? I had to set the project aside in favor of other classwork, but I found myself looking forward to breaks, when I would have nothing more pressing to do and I could go back to the ray tracer and simply see what more I could do.
Even after I had to leave the ray tracer behind, I still tended to be preoccupied with it. However, it was only when I found myself explaining ray tracing to a curious chemist at two in the morning that I noticed that I'd discovered a potential long-term academic interest. I realized, though, that much like four years previously I'd reached a critical decision too late to really act upon it. With only a single full semester remaining, I hardly had time to get any more of the undergrad research experience that is so often touted as a prerequisite for graduate work. Even my experience with other approaches to similar rendering is still limited at best, but I'm looking forward to any opportunity to explore others.
It feels like it just kinda dies at the end, and I'm not sure how to wrap it up. Anything?
click
no subject
Consider dropping most of the 2nd paragraph. For all you know, the person reading your essay may specialize in the exact form of cluster analysis you couldn't stand. A better way to present the clearly unexciting experience is to focus on what you learned from the internship (not necessarily academic things related to the topic, but the personal preferences or aptitudes that you discovered, skills you learned, what got you excited, etc.).
The paragraph that begins "A summer internship..." is very good. It clearly communicates that you're hooked on raytracing and demonstrates that you know what you're talking about. The details are good.
...but I'm looking forward to any opportunity to explore others.
This phrase sounds particularly bad, like you don't really care about the field, like you're interested in it but only if an external opportunity drops in your lap. Instead, tell them about what you are actively doing now to further pursue this interest. Are there any famous or standard books in the field that you are reading in your clearly copious and fruitful amounts of free time? Have you done any further work on your raytracer? Have you compiled a list of fundamental journal articles that you are working through to bring yourself up to speed? Do you regularly go chat with Prof. J. Random about raytracing?
In general, you have written a chronology of your academic life that explains how you got to where you are now and what you want out of life. That is a good way to start an essay like this, but it needs work. Right now, there is too much focus on the irrelevant past and not enough focus on the relevant past and the future. Think of it as a persuasive essay rather than a narrative. Persuade the reader that you want to go to grad school (and that grad school is the natural thing to do based on your interests/experiences etc.), that you love this field, that you are qualified to pursue it (even though you found the interest late, you can accomplish this by pointing to other things/skills/classes/etc. that will assist you as you continue to pick it up or that give you an advantage over someone who has already specialized in it), and that School ABC is the place for you.
Also, get as many people as possible to read it and make comments. Bonus points for prof input, even from ones you don't know.