memnus | Only about a month late!

The filk I delivered at Consonance 2010. It's actually an r2, with the assistance of

sithjawa. Huge thanks to them, both for four extra eyes on the writing and invaluable assistance in the performing. Also, due apologies to

stealthcello for mangling a perfectly ~~innocent~~ respectable song that certainly never did me any wrong.

Other disclaimers: New Battlestar Galactica, spoilers through Season 2.5.

"Baltar's Tango", TTTO "Alligator in the House", Betsy Tinney, Katie Tinney, S.J. Tucker

There's a Cylon living in my head
One I met a bit before the war
We made love along the silver lake
But we can't go back there anymore

Now she stalks me through the narrow halls
Of our tired, worn and ragged fleet
And she's waiting for me in the lab
Asking questions as she rubs my ... feet

(Chorus 1)
Now so say we all, have the Cylons won?
What's a toaster want from me anyhow
Well they say that this all has happened before
Why'd it have to go and happen now?

There's a Cylon living in my head
And she doesn't wear a lot of clothes
She just whispers softly in my ear
Though last week, she almost broke my nose

There's a Cylon living in my head
And she's pushing me into the race
I think Roslin'd rather see me dead
But she can't resist my pretty face

There's a Cylon hiding in the fleet
And she's flat refused to leave me be
All I want is half an hour alone
But she's here, I'll never be free

If you think I'm talking to myself
I suppose it must look rather odd
But if I let her have the final word
She just rambles on about her God

(Chorus 2)
Now so say we all, what's this Cylon want?
What does God want for me in His plan?
If truly this all has happened before
Then I really wish He'd lend a hand

(Interlude: TTTO "All Along the Watchtower")
You know I think there's a lizard here
I can see her shiny teeth
I can tell that she's hiding though,
So I'm watching my feet
It's an alligator, man!

There's a Cylon living by my side
I admit the nights are getting hot
She's convinced our baby's on the way
Isn't that a terrifying thought

Now the baby's not precisely mine
If it is I sure don't want to know
She's a promise of a lasting peace
If Athena just would let her go

Well I guess it doesn't matter now
Hera's gone, now that's a big relief
And besides, we're counting up the votes
Look at me, Commander in Chief!

When I'd turned my back and found a home
Just a humble planet for my bed
For a year, I kept her off my mind
But she's back, and this is what she said

(Cylon's Chorus)
Oh so say we all, now the Cylons win
Our Centurions are stalking your street
You know that this all has happened before
And you're still pathetic sacks of meat

(Final Chorus)
Oh so say we all, frak it all to hell
What's a broken former doctor to do?
But please, when this all has happened before
Did the Cylon ever love me too?

click

Only about a month late!

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