It's rantin' time!

[memnus]

I'm growing tired of this.

I'm tired of doing the same shit every day and every week. I'm tired of being left-brained. I'm tired of staring at papers for longer and longer as they start to mean less and less. I'm tired of starting things, getting distracted by crap I've already seen, and having to come back to them later... yes, this rant falls into that category. I'm tired of feeling like I'm hiding half myself from everyone I see. I'm tired of bouncing between things so fast that I can't focus on any of them. I'm tired of an utter inability to concentrate as well as I need to. I'm tired of being such an introvert that I can't even flirt properly. I'm tired of having to correct typos in every other sentence I write. I'm especially tired of the fact that, all things considered I've got very little I should complain about, but still want an easy way out. I'm tired of being too afraid of disappointing people to make any major changes. I'm tired of lying awake alone every night, no matter how exhausted I am, staring at the walls for an hour. I'm tired of having no chance to shoot in the sun.

It's spring and I'm restless. I want to go running, for gods' sakes, and you all know I'm NOT the running type.

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Comments

[quartzpebble.livejournal.com]

I started off trying to get enough strength to consistently draw a bow almost twice as heavy the one I had been using, since archery's only twice a week. I'll probably keep it up even after I stop archery, though, since I like being strong (very generally useful). It's also quantifiable, takes more muscle memory than hand-eye coordination, and (since I'm not doing anything dangerously heavy) doesn't take anyone else being there. So yeah. Fun. Most concrete goal right now is to be able to do multiple pullups by graduation--I haven't been able to do those since early high school.