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National coming out day
Today is National Coming Out Day. There are many things that I am, and that I have no particluar wish to hide. In honor of those that could lose more by being open - be it jobs, family, health, or even life - than I would, I say this is what I am. I am not the only one.
I am polyamorous. I reject love and partnership as a matter of possession, or a zero-sum game, and ask no exclusivity of my lovers. My partner has a girlfriend on the east coast, and she and I are slowly becoming lovers as well. I have dated and loved others even as my partner and I build a lasting life together. I don't believe in a single "right" way to organize a relationship: there are many ways people can exist together, as friends or partners or lovers or anything else or any combination thereof; only some of them are mutually incompatible. It is work, it is negotiation and communication and empathy and scheduling, but it is worth every minute and every month.
I am sex-positive. I believe that every act of pleasure, when there is no harm done and everyone involved gives enthusiastic informed consent, is a joyful thing to be celebrated. Nobody should be condemned or shamed for who they love, or how they lust. Over and over again, we've seen what happens when they are - and for every one you hear about, how many go invisible? Furthermore, I refuse to restrict sensuality and pleasure to certain acts performed with particular organs.
If the theme is not yet clear it is this: The only thing it is wrong to do is to do harm. To bury and deny your own desires is to harm yourself; to forcibly shape another into someone they are not is to harm them. That is how I live, and that is who I am.
I have been privilieged in that I could grow this way, truly into myself, without fear or shame. I strive to pass that onward into the world now, and hereby ask that you do the same: if a boy would rather play dress-up than baseball, if a girl wants to help change the oil in the car, if a child refuses to be boy or girl at all: LET THEM. There will never be enough convenient boxes to fit everybody into. The harder you try, the more people will only be broken against the corners.
Go in peace.
click
I am polyamorous. I reject love and partnership as a matter of possession, or a zero-sum game, and ask no exclusivity of my lovers. My partner has a girlfriend on the east coast, and she and I are slowly becoming lovers as well. I have dated and loved others even as my partner and I build a lasting life together. I don't believe in a single "right" way to organize a relationship: there are many ways people can exist together, as friends or partners or lovers or anything else or any combination thereof; only some of them are mutually incompatible. It is work, it is negotiation and communication and empathy and scheduling, but it is worth every minute and every month.
I am sex-positive. I believe that every act of pleasure, when there is no harm done and everyone involved gives enthusiastic informed consent, is a joyful thing to be celebrated. Nobody should be condemned or shamed for who they love, or how they lust. Over and over again, we've seen what happens when they are - and for every one you hear about, how many go invisible? Furthermore, I refuse to restrict sensuality and pleasure to certain acts performed with particular organs.
If the theme is not yet clear it is this: The only thing it is wrong to do is to do harm. To bury and deny your own desires is to harm yourself; to forcibly shape another into someone they are not is to harm them. That is how I live, and that is who I am.
I have been privilieged in that I could grow this way, truly into myself, without fear or shame. I strive to pass that onward into the world now, and hereby ask that you do the same: if a boy would rather play dress-up than baseball, if a girl wants to help change the oil in the car, if a child refuses to be boy or girl at all: LET THEM. There will never be enough convenient boxes to fit everybody into. The harder you try, the more people will only be broken against the corners.
Go in peace.
click
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I am honored.