Gods, I hope this isn't what's left.

I'm too meta-aware.

I'm depressed and not coping well tonight. From there, I want to post to LiveJournal about it. Then I realize that I'm making a desperate, attention-seeking livejournal post, and that those never help anything. Then there's the depressing realization of why, and I'm right back where I started.

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I'm afraid. I'm afraid of everything looming in front of me, since I've only been keeping up so far. I'm afraid that I'm going to stop being able to live here, that it'll just hurt too much. I'm afraid of letting more people down this semester - gods know I've already broken the biggest promise I ever made.

Of all the feelings that I try to deny, I hate regret the most. Tonight I'm drowning in it. One way or another, I want my life back.

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